Curing the Disease

I was at my bible study this morning, and while I have no idea what Beth Moore said, I heard God loud and clear. A thought I'd had before became clearer and more defined as I scribbled away for an hour in my journal. Here's the gist: we are responsible for the suffering in the world. It's on us. 

What frustrates me is that people look at that suffering - Americans, friends of mine who are wealthy and fortunate and blessed - and say to themselves, and often to me, either there is no God or the God there is has no compassion for us. He is not worth following. 

I believe this: God is there. He sees our problems. He acknowledges the pain running rampant in the world. And he already addressed the issue. But, from what I've read in the bible, God is not a God who merely treats symptoms. He is a God who cures disease. The disease is our rebellion from God, started in Eden and progressed throughout history. Outside of God's perfect presence we are prone to selfishness. So he gave us the cure for our broken world when he gave his son as a sacrifice for our sin. 

Here's what I wrote this morning. A peek into my private thought life:

People are so quick to blame God for the suffering and poverty in the world. And so, believing that a perfect, loving God could not allow that kind of pain for his creations, he must not exist. Or, if he does, he really doesn't love us and so is not worth following. But the bible is clear that God is not blind to the poor. He is not blind to suffering.

However, God placed us in charge of the Earth. And he, Jesus as well, repeatedly commanded us to care for the poor and suffering. Again, people are so quick to blame God. Have we ever stopped for a second to consider that maybe the responsibility for our world's condition is ours? We are accountable for the poor and suffering. The human condition causes imperfect situations, not God's will. 

He's taken a fairly hands-off approach with us in giving us free-will. Yes, God could solve all the problems in the world in one fell swoop. But God, for his own reasons, gave that task to us. If it weren't for our greed, there would be no poverty at all. God has solved our biggest problem. He stepped in and remedied the only thing we absolutely could not remedy ourselves: the rift between us and himself. He gave us salvation for our souls. 

There are some things on Earth that cause suffering that we cannot fix, like disease and natural disaster. But as unfortunate and heart-breaking as those things are, they are not proof of a lack of love from God. People are meant to pass from this world. And God wants, longs for us to pass from this world to his presence. Our world is broken, and we have to accept that pain will come. But compared to eternity, any struggle we experience here is fleeting. 

God gave us reason to hope for more than what is placed immediately before us. He has commanded us to live for more than what is immediately before us. God has seen the suffering we, at times, experience on Earth and has offered us, as a free gift, eternal freedom from all suffering in his presence. More than that, he offers us an eternity of reasons to rejoice in a New Heaven and New Earth. 

But, because he doesn't instantaneously remove our present pain, he either doesn't exist or doesn't love us? 

How arrogant we are. 

Maybe, just maybe, could we have a little faith that creator of all Heaven and Earth, who is outside of time, might just possibly be a wee bit wiser than we are?

I don't understand a lot. But Christ makes the world make sense to me. Taking responsibility, as the human race, for the current state of our world, makes the shit-fest we see on the news and on the streets more understandable. We need a savior, because without one, mankind does terrible things. Even with one, we're still prone to mess things up. I mean, look at the crusades. Rough. Thankfully, our misuse of the name of God doesn't change the truth of his word and the validity of his commission to serve one another.

So yeah, it's on us. 

We caused this. We turned from God and, in turn, turned from each other. And now, while surveying the filth that resulted, we sit in self-righteous judgement of the state of creation and blame God for our mess. But it's on us. It's on me. Jesus said, 'In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." Jesus went to the heart of the issue, our souls. That's what he overcame. It's now up to us to follow the perfect law - love The Lord your God with all your heart and love your neighbor as yourself - and so address the symptoms and disease all at once. To have healing we must cure the disease. 

I get why people want to blame someone else for the suffering around us. It's so much easier than admitting that we, as a race, are naturally greedy and fallen. We want to believe we are basically good, and I believe people want to be good, but our tendency is toward selfishness. So we complain about the state of the world, but most people only place blame and yet do nothing to serve their fellow man.

I haven't done much to serve yet and don't even know how exactly I can serve. But understanding that the source of the problem is us is a start. And it's our responsibility to heed the call, through God's grace and by following God's perfect law of loving - and in loving, serving - our fellow man. God has our back. But we have to act.

Please do not misunderstand me. Being a Christian does not make anyone magically selfless and generous toward others. And I am aware that there are many people who have no faith at all that do incredible things for mankind. But I genuinely believe that taking Christ's words and turning them into action has a funny way of transforming hearts from selfishness and apathy into compassion and mercy toward others. I believe the more people who live Christ's compassion, the fewer empty stomachs and lint-filled pockets there will be. 

p.s. In case my written train of thought seemed like nonsense to you, I'm always up for a friendly theological or philosophical discussion.

The real question always is...would you do it all again?

If there's anything I know, it's that I know very little. Very little of people, of the world, of myself even. I am not wise. And compared to many people, I'm really not even all that smart. And I have next to nothing of my life figured out. But I figured out in July that it would be cheapest to fly round trip to Dublin, Ireland. So I bought a ticket.

And on October 6, off I went. Alone. Ready for an adventure. Everyone asked me if I was afraid to travel alone. The answer before my trip was always no. The answer today is the same. Surrounded by complete strangers for a week and a half, wandering a strange country on my own, no. I was never afraid. And I realized while I was traveling that I have more to fear from my own proclivity to make bad decisions than from some stranger trying to harm me. I regret nothing from my travels (short though they were). This is not a tell-all. My experiences are my own. Some I will share and some I will keep.

I discovered a new kind of bond that draws people together. A bond that puts complete strangers at utter ease with one another simply because they have one thing in common: they are far from home.

People rarely accuse me of being shy. But I found a new courage in approaching the unknown as day after day I stepped onto unfamiliar streets, worked a foreign transit system, fumbled about with confusing currency and hopped from hostel to hostel meeting new people.

Dublin to Glendalough to Galway to Cork to Belfast.

I think, someday, it would be nice to create in my neck of the woods a place like Vagabonds, the last hostel I stayed at. It was like no place I've ever been before. Maybe I'm romanticizing. So be it, if I am. But the staff weren't just workers, they were a part of the atmosphere. I was alone, and for a few days they were my friends and my guides. I walked out the front door at 6:20 a.m. on October 16 and I'm sure they will all soon forget me in the sea of travelers who pass through that front door. But from the first ringing of the Fur Elise doorbell to the moment I slipped away in the pre-dawn quiet, I felt like for a few days while I was at Vagabonds in Belfast in Northern Ireland, I had someplace to belong even as a wanderer.

I'd be lying if I said part of me didn't want to stay there, at Vagabonds, or even just in Europe. Blow off the Air Force and live an utterly different life than what I would ever have expected. And I sometimes wonder if I'm not a coward for choosing the way I've chosen. I hope not. But regardless, I enjoyed meeting people from all over the world and experiencing a day or two of life with them.

Most of us have seen pictures of Ireland on the internet or in movies. It's more beautiful in person. But if I had every vista stripped from my memory and all I was left with were the people, my journey would still be more than worth it. I keep realizing more and more that my life is not defined by what job I have or what places I've seen or what things I've done. It is defined by the people I meet and love.

It's a strange feeling being home today, living my regular life, sleeping in my own bed, feeding my dog and eating cereal from my blue ceramic bowl. You'd think nothing extraordinary had just happened. But a week and a half ago I practically skipped off the airplane into the Dublin airport with a ridiculous, eager grin on my face, agog to see the greenness of everything.

After a week and half of next to no sleep and winging just about every decision, I can say one thing is for damn sure: I'd do it all again. All of it.

That's my jam.

Oh, the Places You'll Go!

"You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes.
You can steer yourself any direction you choose.
You're on your own.
And you know what you know.
And YOU are the one who'll decide where to go..."
~Dr. Seuss

I've decided where I'm going.

With my brains in my head and my feet in my shoes.

All on my own, I'll be hopping onto a plane...

 And 12 hours later, I'll stroll right back off. But for the first time, my feet won't be treading North American soil.

I'll be wearing my own path into the Irish countryside for 10 days.

One country to cross off my Bucket List. My lengthy and barely begun Bucket List. I want to go everywhere and see everything. But 10 days is all I've got this time around, so I'm going to Ireland. I'm going to get my butt into a car, drive around this little Indiana-sized country and hike mountains and valleys and ferry to islands and toe cliffsides.

I'm going on my biggest Adventure Tuesday yet!

It starts on Sunday, October 6, 2013.

Here's where you all come in. Of course, I'm going to do whatever I want to once I get there. But I would love suggestions of where to go and what to see, travel advice, free places to stay, anything and everything you can share. And in return, I'm afraid all I can do is post the 8 million pictures I'm going to take and hopefully pay forward the travel advice when I'm back.

I can't wait for this adventure!

Won't you be a part of it?

"You'll be on your way up!
You'll be seeing great sights!
You'll join the high fliers
who soar to high heights.
You're off to Great Places!
Today is your day!
Your mountain is waiting.
So...get on your way!"
~Dr. Seuss

Little Faith

Time to use our imaginations everyone.

Picture this scene. You're on a boat. Not a little fishing boat or pontoon like we have in Minnesota. A nice-sized boat, with room for a good number of people. Let's call it a yacht. I think we can all picture a big yacht right?

Ok, so you're on this yacht and have travelled out into the middle of Lake Superior, or Lake Michigan, or Lake Erie. You're out in the middle of this great lake and the water has been gently lapping the sides of the boat as you go along. 

But, as often happens when travelling by water, the weather has a sudden turn. And clouds begin to form, the wind grows stronger and the water gets turbulent. 

Things are not looking good. You may know where I'm going with this, but bear with me. We're still imagining.

You and your 12 friends, one of whom happens to be a rather special friend, are obviously in a pickle. And 12 of the 13 of you are anxious that you won't make it safely to shore. One, however, is uncannily calm. So calm, in fact, he's slept through the roaring of the wind and the rising of the waves.

You and your friends are loath to wake this man, but you finally reach the point where you can't bear the fear any longer and you dash across the deck of your yacht to shake the sleeping man awake.

And you're thinking all the time, how could he sleep through this? Doesn't he care that you're in danger? He's healed  the sick and made blind men see! Surely he can help now!

"Save us!" you shout above the storm. "We're going to drown!"

And after he is so rudely awoken from his rest, this man turns to you, still unalarmed by the situation outside the boat and says bemusedly, "You of little faith, why are you so afraid?"

And then he goes and says to the water, "Quiet! Be still!" 

And. It. Is.

End scene.

I'd be willing to bet that every single one of the men there who saw Jesus rise from the dead would have responded to that scene a lot differently later in life. 

But at that point, Jesus was dead on. They were of "little" faith. They were basically toddlers who heard the thunder crash and knew no better than to be terrified by it. 

I remember taking care of my nephew last spring around this time. We were in Virginia Beach and Chris and Natalie were away for a few days. It was just Tristan and me. A thunderstorm rolled through and though when bed time rolled around only distant rubbling could be heard, Tristan still cried out to be held. Even remembering the loud bangs scared him. I know I was the same. But thunder doesn't frighten me anymore.

God allows storms in our lives for a reason. We see our weakness through struggle. Our faith is tested. And each time we overcome a new obstacle with God, our faith is strengthened. I'm sure you've come up against a problem in your life that has stopped you in your tracks. You look up at it and from where you're standing it's the biggest mountain in the universe. But as God walks with us and we learn to trust him more and more and we reach the top of each consecutive mountain, the one before it begins to look like a foothill. And the one before that like a fold on the prairie. 

Life is not easy. I know ... duh. But we can live with the hope and assurance that what seems huge now will diminish as our faith grows. That's why we have to face it. So that we don't stay toddlers forever!

And remember, if it seems like God is sleeping on the job, it isn't because he doesn't care or see. It's because no storm is too great for him to handle. But he'll do it in his time, not ours.

Secret

There’s a secret
hidden deep within my heart
in the dark of my mind
in a bottle or carven on the wall.
It is safe from the ravages of time.
eating away but never
eaten away.

There is a secret
a longing, a desire, an impulse.
Locked in a silent grapple with
time and love and the last tendrils
of childhood.

But in the night,
when dreams come out
from the bookshelves and scrapbooks
and memories long forgotten,
I dream wide awake.

A warm breath. Almost a kiss.
Words. caressing my weary
and confused heart, drawing me to
a different kind of desire.

You are my secret. My future. My past.
and my greatest fear.

In Light of Eternity

This semester, I really don't have much actual class work anymore. I have my senior project and my internship and then two silly general education courses. I've done my time in the classroom, and now I'm applying it to prove I've learned what I set out to learn. After I'm done, I get to walk away from this school with a brand new tassel and diploma. 

But the path to this May has been littered with moments of near-panicking or fatigue. And this semester, rather than learning how to write an editorial or copy edit a story, I'm learning peace.

In the moments where the idea of completing the number of tasks set before me seems overwhelming, and there are many, I am slowly learning to trust rather than stress.

It's not easy. And it's not natural. But I was reading yesterday and the bible says, "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." (Matthew 6:34)

Jesus makes things sound so easy. 

But he's right. It's not easy not to worry. Not to overreact. Not to stress incessantly about the enormity of the days ahead.

But stress is not trust, and stress is not faith. 

I read recently in "The Purpose Driven Life" that worry is like meditating on what's stressing us out.

Jesus says, "Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?" (Matthew 6:27)

No.

So we need to learn peace. We need to practice having faith. And we need to start meditating on God's word and his promise to take care of us. 

We can start by constantly keeping eternity in mind. No problem seems quite so big in light of forever.

Think incessantly about God's words to you, his promises, his commands and the peace he offers to those who trust in him. Slowly, and I mean slowly, what causes panic and stress will melt from the forefront of your mind.

Because usually those things aren't today issues. Rather than focusing our energy and time on the task at hand, we look at tomorrow's list and invest our energy in fretting about getting it done. And God has more important things for us to focus on. 

Every time I've gotten worked up about something, senior project, an article I'm writing, the opera, whatever it is, it's never as big of a deal as I think at the moment. 

But I don't think I could have tackled any of this semester without what peace I've found so far in God's grace. Because I can do all things through him. And it starts with the little things, like getting the next story done.

I hope you're learning peace as well. Life is big from the where we're standing, but small from where God is standing. So try to see things from his perspective, with the light of eternity cast upon them.

Love My Enemies?

My whole life I've read Matthew 5:48 and thought it was a nice verse. But I never really knew what it meant.

"Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect."?

Sheesh. That's not an impossible standard or anything.

But I've read it and reread it the last few days and something finally clicked. Maybe it's obvious. I can be a bit thick-headed sometimes. Here's what I've come to realize:

Jesus isn't speaking in general or vague terms here. He still had most of the Sermon on the Mount ahead of him. He was only getting started. And this seems more like a closing statement if he meant it to summarize the whole sermon.

So I don't think it's meant to summarize everything. Not that it couldn't, but it seems to me he's saying, "Be perfect in love, as your heavenly father is."

Jesus says a couple verses earlier that God "causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous."

It doesn't seem fair. Until you consider that just because someone hasn't chosen God doesn't mean God has given up on them. God sends trials and blessings on all of his children, not just the ones who are walking the "straight and narrow." Our enemies are still creatures of God.

Then Jesus says, "If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that?"

Even our enemies love their friends. Nobody has to tell you to be nice to someone you already like. It's just human nature. But it's not human nature to love our enemies, it's God nature. If we scorned our enemies, insulted them, fought their hatred with hatred, we woud only be perpetuating the Devil's agenda of discord and malice.

So this is where the hard part comes. Jesus commands us to be perfect as God is perfect by loving our enemies.

Because when we love them, despite whatever evil comes our way, we give them a glimpse of the kind of perfect love God offers us through the sacrifice of his son. By not giving up on people who spit on us, reject us, mock us, betray us and seek to destroy us, we shine God's light of redemption. Because at one point, we all did the same evils to God. And despite thousands of years of watching his kids screw up and turn their backs on him, God still fights for us.

So we should fight for the lost. Even the ones we don't like.

"You have heard that it was said, 'Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you."

Nothing can quench the Father's love for his kids. We have the opportunity to be a part of God's plan to display that love. So pray for the strength to love your friends and enemies alike. Pray to be perfect, like your heavenly Father is perfect. Because humanity, now more than ever, needs that kind of crazy, passionate love. A love that erases all fear and rights all wrongs. A love that never fails.

Joseph

I was reading Matthew 1 yesterday and today, and I got to thinking. Joseph is only mentioned a couple of times in the bible. Really, of the two parents, we think of Mary. How she humbly accepted that she would have God's son and was receptive of God's will.

But consider Joseph's story. All of four paragraphs in Matthew 1. He is basically engaged to Mary. And when he finds out she's pregnant, he doesn't want to humiliate her, but it would be disgraceful to marry a woman who had already slept with a man. So out of respect for her, he planned to separate from her quietly.

But God had other plans. And he came to Joseph through an angel and said, "Hey. It's ok, Mary didn't do what you think she did. I made this happen, through my spirit. So stay with her. She will have a son, and you are to name him Jesus. He's going to save everyone from their sins."

Joseph didn't argue. He didn't even ask the obvious question...How the heck does a woman get pregnant without sleeping with someone? He takes God at his word. And when he woke up, he did what God commanded. No stalling, no complaining. He just did it.

Joseph went counter-cultural by marrying a woman who was pregnant with a kid that wasn't his. He raised a kid that wasn't really his. And he did it on faith.

I thought it was odd that I'd never really heard people talk about how amazing a thing that was for Joseph to do. Joseph had a defining moment in his faith that determined the rest of his life.

But then I realized that Joseph's story kind of speaks to the every day person. Someone who really is just trying to please God. And they may have a great, defining moment or two. But in general, they may not be noticed. Their life probably won't be used in books like Jesus Freaks. They probably won't be a martyr. But by doing God's will in your everyday life: by being a good dad, by honoring your wife, by doing your job to the best of your ability, by trusting God, you honor God and fulfill part of God's purpose for your life.

You don't have to have a big story to have a big faith.