I am weak and wordless.

I like to talk. Ask anyone. No, seriously. Go ask them. I'll wait...

Of course, they've corroborated my assertion, so you now have it on good authority that I, Rachel Lundberg, like, possibly even love, to talk.

But I'm starting to realize that my own constant yammering, though helpful in unfamiliar social situations, can seriously get in my way.

How can I hear God's voice over my own? Well, I wrote a song about it. The first piece of music I've written in about two years. Two years where I couldn't quiet my own thoughts or poor rhyme schemes to hear God's words made tangible in music.

I've probably written about 15 songs since my freshman year of high school. And some of them are really good. I'm not tooting my own horn, believe me. Because quite frankly, I don't think I'm particularly creative or clever. I sit down at the piano and listen to the words I'm singing and wonder, "Where the heck did that come from?"

And especially from this latest song I think I've found my answer. My words come from God. When God commissioned Jeremiah, Jeremiah said, "I do not know how to speak." And God said, "I have put my words in your mouth."

I get where Jeremiah was coming from. Because I've sat down at the piano a hundred times and come away empty handed. Nothing comes out of me. But when my soul is alive with my eyes turned to Christ, what I am learning and what I am seeing in God has many times translated itself into song.

I mean Eye of the Storm, My Daddy's Arms, Tears of Joy, Just This Once, and now My Own.

So, here's a little bit of what God has shown me about the quality of my words without him. A lesson in humility and the value of silence that I'm only on the front end of learning.

My Own:

Another night. Another empty promise. An empty prayer.
For the thousandth time I wonder are you there?
And I hear you say nothing.
But I keep on praying and saying Lord tend my needs
And I keep on laying my cares at your feet.
Yet still you say nothing.

(God) You have spoken so many words you've forgotten every voice but your own.

And your own is weak and worthless without me.
On your own you are weak and wordless. You need me.

You say so many words you never stop to realize it's you who's saying nothing.
You scream and shout and then you blame the Lord for silence and
You never stop to listen.

(Me) My own is weak and worthless
On my own I am weak and wordless

I make so many sounds, so many words I throw around
And still I say nothing.
I scream and shout and I demand the Lord to hear my cry
And wonder why I hear nothing.

My own is weak and worthless
On my own I am weak and wordless

(God) Draw close to me
And I'll draw close to you.

***It's meant to be a duet. I just need a male voice to fill it out.***

The future is looking fun!

Hello again, my friends! Here's a little update on the happenings of my life!

We're six weeks into this semester! And 2.5 weeks away from spring break. 2 1/2 weeks until I get to spend 8 days with my biggest brother, my lovely sister-in-law and my brilliant nephew! I'm taking 17 credits and working hard for each one of them. And I'm in the opera Dido and Aeneas. So far so good.

The biggest thing in my life right now is my planning for the future. I applied to an internship at the Student Press Law Center. It's in Washington D.C., would last from May until the end of July and if I got it, I couldn't ask for a more valuable use of my summer. It's strange...all of a sudden I am hoping to live in a new place, all on my own, with a real job and it's not scary. At least not yet. But all I've done is submit the application. To quote my favorite animated show...And now we play the waiting game.

That's not all though, this summer in July, The Salem Youth Chorus (which I am in) is going to tour the UK! We'll be going to Northern Ireland, Wales, Scotland, and England. We'll be singing in magnificent cathedrals and seeing castles and those perfectly picturesque scenes from the movies. For crying out loud, I'll be walking the same cathedral halls as Harry Potter!

Next spring I am going to study abroad, the only question now is where. I'm between Finland, Sweden, Norway, Russia, and England. I'm pretty keen on Finland at the moment because of my fabulous new suite-mate, Heidi. Very cool! She and Emma (who lives across the hall) are Finnish and if I went to Finland, we'd be at the same university once again. But nothing is set in stone as of yet. I'll be doing a lot of pestering in the next few months before I decide though.

Oh, and in case my other 27 major changes and shifts in career choice weren't enough, I've decided to throw law school into the mix. I mean, why not, right? I'm in Press Law and Ethics this semester, and find everything about it fascinating. I'm sure I'm romanticizing the idea of being a lawyer, which is why I might take a year off of full-time school once I graduate to take Russian classes at the U of M Twin Cities and get a handle on what I'm hoping to do with my future. Usually I'm so anxious to know exactly what my future holds and what my next move will be. Maybe for once, stopping, thinking, praying, pestering, and just doing one thing at a time would be the best move.

So much happens all at once! Life and relationships and the seasons pass in a blur. And suddenly you're nearly 3/4 of the way through your junior year of college. Friends far away, I miss you! And friends close by, I'm glad you're here to not have a clue with me!

The Adventures of 2011

My friends!  I have finally discovered the secret to adding pictures to a blog post.  Quite simple actually, I must be a complete dolt to have been confused before, but that is beside the point!  Now, for your viewing please...I present to you...my adventures from the year 2011.  (Or at least, the ones from which I have pictures.)  Enjoy!

This is my dear sweet nephew.  We visited Chris and Natalie over Christmas break and left the first day of the new year.

My friend Bethany's 21st birthday!  2011 was a great year for her. Married and a baby on the way.  Congrats B!

I was in the opera, La Perichole, in the Spring.  Made a new friend even!  And got closer to my fellow voice majors.

My wonderful friend, Rachael Swanson, bought me a birthday cake!  I beat teenage pregnancy!

Isn't it beautiful!?

The greatest gift of all, though...those plates.

My friend Tony and I made good use of our imaginations one night.  With little more than paper plates and a blanket we became animals at the watering hole, a superhero, and a king and his peasants!

When the gloves come off in Cafaro House...things can get pretty real.  On April 29th?, 2011, it saw what might have been the first dual between knight and knave!  Sure the knave had a SLIGHT advantage, being animate and all, but the victory was sweet nonetheless!

I worked at Target over the summer!  Made virtually no money, however.  You know car troubles and being a girl who likes to shop and all. I mean I worked at a Target for crying out loud!

I was present at two of my good, old friends' engagement!  I was asked to film it. I should probably get them a copy of that...

I went on a choir tour to Toronto, Canada with the Salem Youth Chorus and made some wonderful new friends.

I got a perm!  It looked damn fine too. And I got to be a subject in a photo shoot! (Thanks Holmqizzle for your excellent photography skills, despite the fading daylight.)

And then the perm grew out.  

Here's a fun fact!  I dropped my Samsung phone in the middle of the summer (went through a dry spell of photo taking) and finally in November got my new Iphone 4!  I now have an Otterbox case. 

Got a brand new dormroom! (One without a slanted ceiling, uncontrollable heat, or a stupid tiny window.) And arranged exactly like the old dormroom...plus a number of new decorations.  (^_^)

I changed my major from Music to Journalism at Youngstown State University!  And decided to go to grad school for Linguistics and to study Russian to become a translator one day.  Part of my plan you see!

Made some wonderful new friends after joining Campus Crusade and had an adventure with them that ended in having to carry around and carve a MASSIVE pumpkin.  (Bottom Left: Exhibit A)

Bagged about a million potatoes at Second Harvest Food Bank for Shantytown.

I got Mark to smile in a picture!

Shared a box with George Kubas at my 3rd consecutive Shantytown!  How scandalous.  Except that it was so windy and loud that after 3 a.m. I just gave up and went inside. He slept like a baby the whole night.  Unbelievable. 

Early Thanksgiving dinner with new friends. (Above: Cory Vaughn and Nikki Alles. Below: Me and Garlic Mashed Potatoes.)

Mark and I visited New York City to go to a Maria Schneider concert the day before Thanksgiving.  

We drove to NYC, took a train into the city, visited the Pennsylvania hotel and the H&M store where I made an unfortunate hat purchase on my first trip to New York, went to eat at this yummy pizza place, headed to the jazz club for the concert, and took a train back out of the city. 

So that was our day up until 11 p.m.  Then we made the 5 hour drive up to Rochester, NY.  4 a.m. folks.  It was totally worth it.  Did you know the Macy's store in New York is the biggest store in the world?  

I think I'll leave you all with that last picture.  Believe.  Believe in yourself, in your family, in your friends, and above all, in the goodness of God.  And get ready!  Because we made it to the beginning of yet another year waiting for a million more adventures like those of its predecessors.  Let's go 2012!  The baton has been passed!

Moving forward.

           It's a brand new year.  A year that is just teeming with undiscovered adventures and unrealized goals.  Only 2 days in!  I have so much to do this year, and I'm looking forward to every last experience.  But right now I feel restless.  Breaks are wonderful, but I need diversion.  And not just hanging out with friends or reading a good book, but classes and studies and work to do.  And go ahead and give me a hard poke for my hypocrisy, but I miss the dorms!  I may loath my homework sometimes, and especially last semester's course load, but I love being in school and learning.  There will always be classes that don't agree with you or projects that seem asinine or overwhelming, but they aren't the majority and they don't ruin the experience.  My attitude began to turn for the better this semester.  Youngstown really isn't such a bad place.  I don't ADORE Ohio, believe.  It's the weather.  Doesn't suit me one bit, but it can be dealt with and this winter has been pretty mild.  And more importantly, I have an idea of what I want to do with my future.  Not a perfectly outlined path, mind you, because let's face it, I make up my path as I go along, but a plan, a hope, a dream, a goal: whatever you want to call it.  I've got one.  And this semester, this year are all about moving forward toward my future.  I have to prepare for and take the GRE, visit grad schools, and then apply to grad schools and internships, wade ahead with my Russian language education, I'm in an opera and if all goes as planned, I'll be touring the UK with the Salem Youth Chorus.  I suppose I'm just anxious tonight to get going.  I don't take long to recover from an irritating semester, and this Spring Semester 2012 promises to be more up my alley.  (Please, God, don't let me regret that statement.)

I kind of feel like I'm just babbling.  But what else is a blog for right?  Me just putting down random thoughts in the hope that maybe somebody is actually interested.  Well, I'm going to do something new.  (Once I figure out how).  Following this blog post is going to be a post of pictures of the last year.  A celebration of 2011, if you will.  So for this post, I bid you adieu and pray for me as I attempt to figure out how to post pictures onto a blog!  One more exciting adventure for the year 2012, I have no doubt. (^_^)