3 Minutes.

Three minutes.  What can I say in the three minutes before I have to start closing up shop, locking the cupboards, and shutting the door on my ninth week of my fifth semester of my time here in Youngstown, OH?  I can say that I just want to be at peace.  I sat on a rock along Wick Avenue for 10 minutes earlier this afternoon, just watching.  Sitting and finding calm in the passing of cars and cool wind blowing on my face.

One small respite from the last nine weeks, to remind me that time is passing quickly and I will be home soon enough.  But today I am here, and God is good, and decisions can wait for just another 10 minutes.

So go outside before it's so cold you'll freeze your bum off.  And sit.  And watch.  And listen.  And pray. And remember that right where you are, God is using you and loving you.  Contentment comes through God alone.  Not by being somewhere else or just getting through this one big project.  There will always be somewhere else and one more project.

So for just a few minutes.  Be still.  And know that He is God.

Who's your Daddy?

Wednesday night I stayed up until 2:30 a.m. studying for a history test.  Finally, I went to bed and was looking forward to the next five hours of sleep, but, alas, it wasn't to be.  As I was laying there I was thinking about whether I know God or I just know about him and this metaphor hit me.  Being a writer, I couldn't allow the idea to go without putting it down on paper, for fear that sleep would erase it...

Imagine growing up without a father.

I love my daddy (sorry mom, I love you just as much, but the analogy calls for a dad).  I hate the thought that one day I will have to go on living without him.  But to never have even known him is a reality I'd hate so much more.

So...imagine growing up without a father, a protector, a daddy, a safe-haven, and a guide.

You've seen everyone else go through life with their old man, from idolizing child to insolent teenager to wandering young adult to full maturity, and you feel what you're missing out on.

All of the good times, the encouraging words, the advice that you sometimes don't understand well until you've ignored it and made the mistake anyway never happen for you.

But you're not bitter that he was never around.  You know he didn't abandon you.  So this man, you've never known, whose absence you've felt your whole life is out there somewhere, and after a lifetime of not knowing where he is or who he is you find out both.  And you seek him out.

What is he like?  What kind of man is he?  Does he know about you?  Love you?  Want to know you?  Will he reject you or accept you?

You walk into a Starbucks (because where else would you meet, really?) after having e-mailed him to set up a meeting and in the corner is sitting a man.  The one thing you've desired all your life and have no idea what to do with when you have it.  Your daddy.  Because all of those questions...they're things that little girls learn growing up.  They know their daddys.

I obviously know my daddy, but I still feel like that grown woman seeing her father for the first time.  Just the daddy I'm realizing I don't know, is my heavenly Father.

I want to know God the way I know my own dad and so much more than that.  For life to be unimaginable without him and so much richer with him.  The way I see other people who have gone through the steps of faith in its infancy to a full and joyful knowledge of God.

I know plenty about God.  I've read the bible, prayed, gone to church and felt some fleeting moments of closeness, but mostly I'm realizing that I don't really know God at all.

So now I get to be a little girl again.  I get to come to my Daddy's arms and find out what two years ago I thought I knew for certain and what two weeks ago I realized I had only pretended to understand.  Now, I get to get to know God.

Feel free to join me.

Why CAN'T I own a Canadian?

Why Can't I Own a Canadian?

October 2002

Dr. Laura Schlessinger is a radio personality who dispenses advice to people who call in to her radio show. Recently, she said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22 and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. The following is an open letter to Dr. Laura penned by a east coast resident, which was posted on the Internet. It's funny, as well as informative:


Dear Dr. Laura:
Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate.

I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the other specific laws and how to follow them:

When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15:19- 24. The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?

Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?

I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? - Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.

Your devoted fan,
Jim

http://www.humanistsofutah.org/2002/WhyCantIOwnACanadian_10-02.html

Like Father, Like Daughter

I was one day into my Junior year.  I had already decided that I wanted to study Russian, despite the fact that YSU doesn't actually HAVE a Russian major.  But hey, technicalities right?

Wrong.  It turns out that it would have been a huge nightmare to pursue that path right now, so after my first round of classes on Monday and a bit of hopping around campus to talk to different professors I decided, Journalism it is!

I have officially come full circle.  From Journalism to Professional Writing and Editing to Music to Russian to Journalism.  Not bad for only two years of school!  I have been a busy bee.  I guess it's not so bad though; I'll be graduating on time now.  

Now, now.  I'm not so fickle that I just up and gave up on Russian without even starting.  I'm taking beginners Russian right now and loving it!  In-depth study and fluency will simply have to wait until after I graduate.  So you might be wondering to yourself at this point two questions...Why Russian? and Why not music? 

Why not music?  Because I love music, but I do not love stress or teaching or constantly worrying about whether my throat will be too thick to sing well or if, come recital time, I will be sick or perfectly healthy.  I love to sing, and want to continue loving to sing, so I will leave it as a passion and not a career.  

Now, for the better question: why Russian?  The answer?  I have absolutely no idea!  I was going about my life this summer, looking forward to my third semester of music study, and then all of a sudden I came to the conclusion that I didn't just want to study music.  Last year, from music diction courses and Italian study, I realized how much I really love language and words.  And the best part?  I'm really good at it.  So I said to myself, "Hey, I'll study what foreign language I have time for in my undergrad and then maybe get two grad degrees.  One in music, the other in Italian or whatever."  

As I thought about it more, I became more convinced that I wanted to study foreign language somehow and at some point or another between the beginning of spring semester and July, it had entered into my head to study Russian.  So one day when my friends and I were at a Half Price Books I picked up a little 'teach yourself Russian' book.  Of course, then I got home and realized my father had 8 or 9 different textbooks and reference books from his two and half years as a Russian major and various trips to Ukraine. (Including the one I had just bought.)  So, armed with more material than I knew what to do with, I started by teaching myself to read the Cyrillic alphabet.

After mastering the alphabet, talking to my family about the wider variety of job options for a foreign language major than a music major, and realizing that I have no desire to ever teach music, I dropped all of my music classes and completely changed my schedule.  And that's it.  I don't know what process my brain went through to bring me to where I am now.  It all just happened.  I followed the tide of my thoughts and didn't think too hard about where the thoughts had come from.

What's really funny about the situation is that my dad went the opposite way as I did.  He started as a Russian student and after transferring to the University of Minnesota, ended up majoring in music.  Like father, like daughter.  Both indecisive, but not out of boredom or dislike, but because when you have multiple passions and you're young, you just want to pursue them all.  

It's all about the Benjamins baby

20 years old, college student, still getting used to having liquid assets. Yeah, sounds like a recipe for being really, really poor. Please! Somebody help me to learn self-control!

See I've got this problem. I'm a girl. And I love to shop. I love getting new things to make my room pretty or to add to my wardrobe. As if it's not full enough of scarves, shoes, hats, accessories, jeans, tops, dresses, and sweaters already. "But hey," I say to myself. "You'll regret not buying this later." And every once in a while I do. But most of the time I do this amazing thing called...forgetting all about it. Yeah, I have a very selective memory and things like a random shirt I liked don't necessarily make the team.

And yet here I am, today, with a new dress, a metal pepsi sign, a pair of legwarmers, and a handbook to help me teach myself basic Russian. Now, I am going to defend myself a little bit here. The Russian book is something I have been wanting to start and isn't simply a whim, but a goal. I actually do want to learn Russian along with the other 3 languages I need to study as a vocal performance major. But I digress. So that purchase's value was worth the cost. The legwarmers weren't actually necessary, neither was the Pepsi sign. The new dress, however, will also has a value higher than its cost, because it will be used multiple times in recitals and things of the sort pertaining to my major. I also got Mark a third of his birthday present today, so that was also a worthwhile purchase. 3 out of 5 isn't horrible, but it's not fantastic either.

And yet here I am, $50 poorer and more in debt. But so it goes. And I'll tell myself, once again, that from here on out I'll buy only what I need, but chances are I'll splurge on something stupid and kick myself in the shins for it later. Money sucks. Why don't they teach you THAT in high school? They babble about preparing you for life after college, but quite frankly, I don't see how learning how to balance an equation will ever assist me when I'm attempting to balance my checkbook. I'm not bashing people who are going to school for careers related to science, because I loved science, but I'm just pointing out an obvious truth. The things that students really need to know going out of high school are never taught to them.

I could really use a teacher right about now.

When It Rains...It Pours.

It has been an interesting few days, to say the least.

(Just so that we're clear, I'm about to use rain as a metaphor.)

The first few drops pattered down onto my hair and lovely, red and khaki Target uniform on Thursday night. This is the Thursday before the 4th of July weekend mind you. Needless to say, there was a constant flow of people throughout the store that night. I've never really filled you in my job before. I like it, my bosses are great, my coworkers are mostly really awesome, and I don't mind the tasks that I have to do. However, work becomes a little less of a jolly walk in the park when I'm so busy and have so many things to do, I can not focus on one thing at all anymore.

So there I am, trying to finger-space all of the clothes hangers on all of the racks as usual, meanwhile there are 20 billion people trying on swimsuits and dresses and shorts and swimsuits and swimsuits and swimsuits. Did I mention people were trying on swimsuits? Because there were A LOT of them. The fitting room attendant had more work to do than I did, because she was the primary person who had to deal with all of those god-forsaken swimsuits, and bless her heart, she did a great job. As for me, let's just say it had been awhile since I'd been that busy at Target and I got a bit frazzled. There's no list-making to prioritize duties when you are the position I have. You just do as you're told and on nights like that...you do it fast.

So I finish my shift at 10:50 and drive home only to realize that once again, Mark was asleep before my shift ended. I've decided time zone differences are the antichrist. I'm really sorry to all of you right-wingers who thought it was O'Bama, trust me on this one...It's the time zone differences. Not only is it a terrible idea for him to stay up late because Mark has to get up every day at 6:45, but he's also an hour later than we are.

So that evening an irritating drizzle started. Work left me frustrated and exacerbated my loneliness for Mark, but the next morning the drizzle had dispersed and it was a fine day! My mom and I took our dog, Cooper to be neutered, we went to see Larry Crowne together, and my brother and I decided to see the 7:00 showing of Transformers 3. Well...unfortunately the weather (and I mean this literally now) had other ideas for my night. It was looking pretty dismal by the time Jonathan and I got to Target to pick up our candy, so I gave him five minutes to get in and out to beat the rain.

We walked quickly, checked out, and in those few rushed minutes the wind picked up to 50 mph, the clouds turned a wretched green, and we decided to wait at Target until the weather calmed down a bit. Yes, we had to miss the movie, but it would have mattered very little since the movie theater lost power in the storm. $15 poorer and out of a gallon or so of gas, we returned home without seeing the movie and the storm carried on late into the night. Now the drizzle has become an irritating sprinkle. Just enough to make you cold.

Today, during my four hours of work I ran about non-stop putting clothes away, back-up cashiering and listening to everyone wanting me to be in two places at once over my walkie.

"Rachel, are you still at the check lanes?"

"Sales floor, we need a back-up please."

"Rachel, I need you to come back to the fitting room to put away stray."

"Rachel we need to start our mid-day."

You get the point. I'm actually not complaining about work though. I didn't mind being so busy. My shift went quickly and all I spent most of my time at the check lanes and did whatever else I could when I had time.

Plus, I had a Skype date with Mark to look forward to when my shift ended. We were supposed to have it at 3:00. But the antichrist struck once again, and the bloody time-zone ruined what I was hoping would be a nice long conversation. No, no. He thought I meant 3 his time, but I meant 3 my time, so when he made plans for 4:15 to leave for dinner he had unwittingly trimmed a nice long conversation down to 15 minutes. We had a nice chat on the phone during my 20 minute drive home and I was still looking forward to finally getting to talk face-to-face for the first time in two weeks, but surprise! His mic didn't work on Skype so that was a bust and we had to finish the conversation just on the phone once again. So despite the beautiful weather that the rain left us today, the drizzle from Thursday and that ever so irritating sprinkling from Friday has now turned into a steady rain with no umbrella.

But hey, things aren't so bad right? My mom made corn on the cob for dinner and Jonathan and I had plans to go to a Twins game, and there was no way weather could mess with those because it was perfect outside today. So away we went, Jonathan and I, to go see my first Twins game at the new stadium.

We drove down, parked and rode the light rail to the stadium (another first) and all seemed to be going well. Jonathan surprised me with a soda after coming back from the restroom in the second or third inning and the Twins were beating the Milwaukee Brewer's 7 to 0 in the fourth inning. It was a fantastic game! We got two home runs in a row in the fourth inning! We were unstoppable. That is, until the fifth inning. Everything fell apart. Nobody could get a good hit, our pitcher was choking, and all of a sudden our outfielders were missing catches and by the top of the 9th it was 7 to 4. Maybe our team got cocky, but it doesn't really matter. To any other team, it wouldn't have been a big deal, but not to Wisconsin! I had to endure 5 innings of Wisconsinites squawking, "Let's go Brewers" clap...clap...clap clap clap. It's not as if they were annihilating us. They had no reason to be so cocky and obnoxious, and yet on they chanted "Let's go Brewers" clap...clap...clap clap frickin clap. It would have even been understandable if we had been as obnoxious when they were losing, especially since it's our home field, but we were actually quite gracious winners if you ask me.

We cheered when we scored and rejoiced in the triumph we felt was imminent, but we did not gloat. The second the Brewers got so much as a single point, every single Wisconsin fan seemed to forget the fact that they had let us score four runs in one inning. Idiots. We wanted to watch the final inning because there was no guaranteed win for us so we made our way to a lower level. On the way I threw away my soda, not realizing that it was a souvenir cup for which Jonathan had paid $5.75. I found that out later when Jonathan said, "Oh, you threw away your pop?" "Yes." "Oh, it was a souvenir cup." Gee, thanks for telling me that to begin with. I just thought it was another plastic cup. So now I feel like crap for throwing away a cup that he had wanted to keep and we had just taken a terrible blow from Wisconsin upon losing the game.

So we lost 8 to 7, not scoring a single run in the second half of the game, and Jonathan and I rushed out of the stadium to get to the light rail with the first crowd of dejected Twins fans and arrogant Wisconsinites. We drove home and when we got out of the car I managed to, for the zillionth time, drop my stupid, slippery phone on the pavement. That was the final straw for my phone. It had had enough abuse and carelessness, and it just gave up on life.

I guess that's a bit of an exaggeration. Just the screen gave up on life. It cracked and now I am stuck using my first phone until I can either drop a couple hundred dollars on a new smart phone, or I decide to get the screen replaced on my current phone (which is about a hundred dollars). Yeah. Just freaking fantastic.

It is now pouring.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not walking around in a sour mood, looking for things to be grumpy and pissed about. It wasn't until I found out I'd thrown away a souvenir cup that I began to reflect on the string of disconnected, frustrating incidents that had sprinkled themselves over the last three days. (Did I mention the Minnesotan government shut down? How embarrassing!)

The saying is right, when it rains, it really does pour.

But, never fear, I have reflected and shared my story, and as frustrating as all of those experiences were, I am not discouraged by them. Life has its ups and downs and they do not come one at a time but like the customers at Target today, they come all at once. So, let's take another look at the last few days. The weather today was perfect; I'll be saving money by not paying for a data plan for the next couple of months; I have a good job and understanding bosses; my brother and I got to spend some quality time together; my mom and I saw a great Tom Hanks movie and spent half a day together; Minnesota has proven it has more class than Wisconsin; I got to see Mark's face for a couple of minutes, even if I didn't get to talk to him at the same time; I got a $5 poster of New York and $7 sheets on Clearance at Target during the thunderstorm; and I got to go to Target Field!

The last three days were just a little everyday life. It's messy and irritating, and people drive slow on the back roads. But it's wonderful and sweet, and if there were never aggravations, it wouldn't be life. You just have to remember when the straw lands that threatens to break your back...the good moments are there. Don't be blinded by the bad.

Paper or Plastic?

Ever since I was little, I've loved books. I've loved reading. I've loved learning. Nothing has changed. I love the feel of a thick book in my hands; calculating how far until I'm a quarter of the way done, halfway done, three quarters of the way done; and the beautiful satisfaction of reading that last word on the last page. And I'll admit, there are times when I revel in the fact that I am more well-read than the majority of American society. I read Oliver Twist as a 7th grader. Completing that book marked my shift from reading children's novels to classic literature. I grew up a little bit the day I finished Oliver Twist. But regardless of what or how much I read, my point is that I love books.

Today, it's so easy to carry a book with you wherever you go: in your phone, your computer, your iPad, your Kindle. Book burning will never have the same effect again. I'm glad at this use of technology. And yet, despite how much I appreciate being able to read on my phone, I don't think I could give up collecting paper books. I could have a million books on a Kindle, but the feeling I'd get scrolling through those titles would never compare to the delight the stacks of a library evoke in me. The other day I walked into work carrying a copy of War and Peace to read during my breaks and received the incredulous and impressed comment, "THAT is a book." Books are expensive, yes. They are perishable, yes. But they are so much more than that. They are an ingrained part of human history.

Imagine this:

All the books in the world are burnt. I don't know why, maybe as alternative fuel or something. The "why?" is not important, they're all gone. And all we have left are the empty, dusty shelves of the libraries...and our electronic books. Never again would you experience the thrill of fanning 800 pages under your thumb. Never again would you breath in deeply the smell of an old or new book. You'd never know how loved a book was by its wear and tear, or be able to snap a book shut and rest your eyes after drinking in the final word of the story. Never.

Technology is wonderful but, call me old fashioned, it could never replace the added level of pleasure that reading a good book in its hard-copy form gives. A book is a book no matter how it's presented. Twilight will forever be poorly written ilk and Dickens will always have produced masterpieces, no matter what form they are presented in. But if I had to choose between paper or plastic?...I'd choose paper every time.

21st Century Proverbs

Proverbs by...me.

"Be optimistic, because no matter how old you are, you are too young to be jaded."

"Somebody I knew once said that only boring people get bored. I like that, but I don't entirely agree. I get bored, but I am not boring. So I say only boring and lazy people get bored. If you walk through life with an active mind and the willingness to initiate engagement, boredom will have a hard time catching you."

"Learn to let people go. It is good to keep the door of your heart open to new loves and new relationships, but by keeping your heart open, you must also accept that people will leave as well."

"Do not judge. Because no matter what people may do, they are not accountable to us. They are accountable to God and God alone. He has promised to take care of the judgement and has commanded us only to love."

"Just because somebody tells you something is right or wrong does not mean that it is. Not every law is just. And not every rule is logical."

"Challenge beliefs, but do not disrespect the people that hold them."

"99% of modern literature filth."

"Happiness is often mistaken for joy. Happiness is based on circumstances. Joy is based on the heart."

"Not all adults are wise, and not all youths are fools."

"Only those who cease to learn and strive grow old."

"If you are unhappy with your circumstances, change them."

"Takes risks, because even if you fail you will have learned something and the struggle will make you stronger."

"I think mistakes are a good thing. They can really hurt like a good slap in the face, but they wake us up and teach us a lesson. If you've never made a really good mistake, then chances are you've never taken a really good risk. So take risks and if you fail horribly, relish it, because regardless of the outcome the experience is never worthless."

"It's never too late to change your mind."

"I like silence. But I think people fear silence because it leaves them alone with themselves, and a lot of the time they have nothing to say."

"Dancing in front of your mirror and singing into your hairbrush are important. If you can't be a star in your own room, how can you be a star out in the world?"

"Nobody is normal. So be who you are and if somebody laughs at you or thinks you're strange, laugh right back all the more heartily, because you get the joke and they're still stuck in the delusion."

"If you are vain. Be vain. People will hate you less for loving yourself if you do not feign modesty."

"Do not compare yourself to others, but only to yourself. You do not have the same goals, hopes, means, thoughts, dreams, skills, past, desires, or struggles as any other person in the world. So any comparison will be skewed and unfair."

"The way you present yourself matters. Put an extra 10-20 minutes into your wardrobe and make-up in the morning and you will save yourself hours of repairing the negative first impression a sloppy appearance impresses on the minds of every new acquaintance you make. If you do not respect yourself, why should anybody else?"

"Love people. Love them hard."

"Make the best of wherever you are. You will be somewhere else soon enough, but for now, you are where you are supposed to be."

Crossroads.

I'm at a crossroad.

One direction leads home. The other continues down the path I set out on.

I've always had the mindset of picking the thing you want to do and getting to it in the most direct way possible. So I picked a major my senior year of high school, picked a school with a full ride scholarship, and off I went. 1,000 miles away and ready to be a big, mature adult all by myself. And it was the right decision. I met a nice boy that I dated for a year and a half. We're over now, but it was a good thing we dated. Because had we not, I don't think I'd be a music major now. He didn't mean too, but he made me see that writing is nice, but it's not my passion. I love music and singing and I want to find my niche in that world. So I switched majors.

Only one problem with that move. My direct path just got one year longer.

So here I am, learning about my voice and trying to be a better musician and all of a sudden I realize that I hate Ohio. I'm not kidding. I literally hate Ohio. Or at least Youngstown, but that's not really a good thing when staring straight in the face of another three years here. Please don't get me wrong, I love my friends. Every single one, to death. They are the reason leaving would make me sad. But I hate choir, I hate the weather, this city is awful and not safe, Dana is not exactly what I'd consider a high ranking music school, and quite frankly...I just miss home.

Every day for the last few weeks I've said over and over again, "I want to go home." And at first I just meant for the summer, but now more and more I just want to BE home. I mean for good. I want to go on late night walks with my best friend, get to know my cousins, go see my family and puppy on the weekends, go to a music school that has a good reputation, and live in a state that has captured my heart and a city that is thriving.

As each day races past my entire being longs for what I left behind. And not out of regret. Youngstown was the right place to be. It's served its purpose in my life, and maybe that was to point me in a new direction and then send me back to where I'm pretty sure I belong. And that's home.

So I'm standing here at my crossroad, wondering why in the world I'm still questioning whether stepping out in faith on the road back to Minnesota is the right way to go or not. Because my stupid little direct path was never what life was all about. Life is about choices, and love, and family, and learning, and living, and being joyful, and praising Jesus with each smile. It's about music and following your heart and following the next step that you feel led to. Even if it veers so far off that original, direct path that you completely lose sight of where you had once intended to go.

No, I will not graduate from college in 4 years. Maybe not even 5. But I will get where I'm going. I don't know where the end of my road will be, but I think the next stop is home.

I can only imagine.

After another long, long winter full of nasty Ohio weather, all I can say is...I actually miss Minnesota's winter. It may be cold and horrible, but I know what weather is coming, and we get the sun.

Today it is 60 degrees outside and surprise surprise it's raining here in the second cloudiest city in the country. But hey...it's 60 degrees so I'm not complaining. Still, that doesn't mean I don't long for the sun and warmth and to play outside with no shoes on. That's all I want right now. Summer and home. They're good for the soul. I think heaven will be a lot like that. You know, like going home to green grass, blue lakes, and a lot of love after a long winter far away.

Here's the gist of what I think heaven will look like. There will be a new heaven and a new earth, just like the bible says, and the new earth will be perfect again. All of the beauty, none of the bite. No mosquitoes (like a dream come true right!). No frostbite. The snow will be beautiful but not cold. And the grass will be green but not itchy. The trees will bloom in the winter and the sun will shine forever and never give us squinting headaches. I could swim during a thunderstorm in our pure lakes! Lighting will no longer destroy, but only awe. This is the kind of world God always meant us to live in. I don't have a lot of answers for things, because I'm still little. But I can promise you this...Heaven is worth the wait and the suffering through our literal and metaphorical winters and dark nights, because it will be all we could ever imagine and more. We'll be with our Daddy, Savior, Lover, best Friend, and Peace forever. (And I know the bible says there won't be any more marriage or whatever, but I'm still going to insist on believing that I'll spend all of eternity with my future hubs and loved ones too, because after all...I'm only human.)

Two words...COUNTERPOINT

Well...being a music major is still great. But of course it has its difficulties.

For example...right now I'm working on some counterpoint. I know...you have no idea what that is. But suffice it to say that it's the music major's equivalent to math. I have now been working on the same two 12 bar melodies for over 2 hours. There are only two notes in each bar...

So I've moved around, rewritten it, reviewed my notes, and nothing. I'm not even bad at counterpoint! I get it. I'd probably be done by now if I didn't understand it so well because I wouldn't see my bloody mistakes.

But I'm still here. Five minutes ago working in a chair, and twenty minutes ago on the arm of a couch across the hall and before that cross-legged on a futon. Now...I've commandeered George's computer to write a blog about how I can't figure out a homework assignment. I'm surrounded by boys who are in the same predicament.

Trevor left his calc homework to write a blog post (guess where he got that idea! I'm such a good influence). Tony is trying to motivate himself through 19 pages of P Chem.
Tony: "Come on Tony, only 15 pages." And Sean has been wading through whatever left brain muck he's been stuck in for the last 2 hours.

Oh sooo much work work work to do! Good luck everybody!

God help me.